by Andrea Mathews


Most of us spend at least half of life's energy trying to stay on top of life, so that the bad stuff doesn't happen to us. We want to pick the 'right' partner, to land the 'right' job, pick the 'right' avenues of effort, and raise kids who are 'good' and 'productive' citizens of the world. And when, in spite of our best efforts, bad things happen anyway, we either rail at the Universe, God or gods for allowing it; question ourselves as to what we did to 'attract' this 'bad' thing; or we muddle through slowly gaining some modicum of acceptance or at least tolerance. Most of us do all of the above at some point. And so it is that most of the other half of our energy goes to learning how to cope with what we couldn't avoid.

We say that we need to learn to accept and let go and surrender, but these are terms with which most of us struggle; though we do try, don't we? These valiant efforts do offer some relief and so we keep trying. But it seems that there must be an easier or at least more fulfilling way to go about the business of accepting life on life's terms. So, what if there is? What if a change in perspective could get us to acceptance and to peace faster and in a more enduring fashion and would actually gracefully offer surrender or letting go? Would you do it? And what if such a change would mean an entire shift in consciousness, a complete revision of the way we see life, and a total transformation of identity—radically altering the entire definition of self? Would you still want to do it? Well let's give it a go. What if the following were really true?

There's a gift in everything, every event, every circumstance, every encounter, every limitation, trauma, difficulty, challenge and loss. What if even the worst case scenarios we can imagine bring us a profound gift? What if the more difficult the challenge, the more profound is the gift? Well, that's all well and good, we might say, but how can that be?

It can be if we align our thinking with the real truth of what is going on here. You see, we've put all of life into two separate and distinct categories: good and bad (or evil). The reason we have done that is because at the beginning of our journey here we all incorporated into the body/mind a literal trance state, in which we came to see ourselves as separate from the Divine. That separation, we imagine, makes us small, limited and bad, while the Divine—in whatever form we imagine it—is large, unlimited and good. Worse than that, it is all our fault that we are in this predicament. And worse yet than that, we spend our lives trying to prove this very paradigm true. For example, we point out to ourselves all of the things that are bad or even downright evil, and we say that because we can see these things, that makes them so. And because we see it out there in the external world, we are just as certain that it is within us as well. We utterly believe this paradigm of life—regardless of religion or persuasion—and so it is that we spend half of our energy trying to avoid difficulties and most of the other half trying to cope with what we couldn't avoid—with very little room between the two for really experiencing the wonder of life.



But what if we only agreed to be put into that duality trance state because we were in a co-creative effort with the Divine to bring form into full awareness of its essential divine nature? You see, in every creative endeavour, whether it's painting a picture or building a house, there is a constant questioning and answering going on. If I use this colour, what will that mean to this portion and to that whole? If I build the room this way, what will happen to the balance? One of the questions that was raised during the original creative process, in which form was coming into being, was this: Can form be separate from its creator?

Of course, the answer is that form and its creator are One and there can be no separation in Oneness. But just like when we are painting a painting we have to experiment with a colour, shape or form before we are certain as to what we will do, so it is that the creative effort, in which we are all participating, requires that we experiment with the notion of separation. And the only true way to experiment with such a thing is to experience it. We've all been experimenting with and experiencing duality ever since—through our contractual agreement to take on this duality trance state in which we fully see ourselves as separate from the Divine. Once we get to the end of that experiment, we will have fully experienced it to its ultimate conclusion—Oneness. At that point, form or substance will know itself as Divine, the creation of planet Earth will be complete and we will await our next adventure.


If all of that is true, then our ideas about suffering and either avoiding or coping with life's difficulties are only a part of the duality trance state in which we all live. There is an entirely different reality occurring on another level, which the duality trance state does not encompass in its limited scope. And if that is true, than it seems that it is possible for any one of us at any time to break out of that trance state and see ourselves as Divine Beings, not only One with the entire Universe, but with Divine essence itself. What would this then mean about life's difficulties? What would it mean about good and bad?

Such a shift in awareness would convince us that there is no such thing as good or bad, that this split-consciousness was only a part of the duality trance state. This would in turn mean that we cannot experience anything that is not a profound gift from and to the soul—or the essential Divine Self. In the real world, there is no good or bad, there is only profound, amazing life energy giving itself life energy. And this reality is always co-occurring parallel to and as a co-creative part of the duality trance state.

Here's how that works. Let's say that I came here in this incarnation to learn that I have the ability to love unconditionally. First, let's clarify that the 'I' here is not my soul. My soul already knows that it loves unconditionally. Rather it is the sense of myself as form, separate from the Divine, which must learn—and in this lifetime I came to learn that I have the capacity to love unconditionally. Each time the part of me, which defines itself separate from the Divine, comes here, the soul intends for it to learn something small or large about its essential divine nature. This time, its unconditional love.

But I'm born into a family in which my parents are distant, cold and abusive. Well, we say, that makes no sense, how could we learn unconditional love from that? Suppose after experiencing my distant, cold, abusive parents, I continually get attracted to distant, cold and abusive lovers, whom I love with all of my heart, but from whom I must eventually separate because the relationships are too toxic. I might look at this as profoundly sad evidence that I should give up on relationships. Or, if I am looking at it from the soul perspective, I might see that not only do I feel a deep and profound love for my parents regardless of their maltreatment, but I also feel the same kind of love for my lovers. Yes, I had to leave them. Why? Because I also love myself unconditionally. Now, I can clearly see that I got the gift all of these loving souls came to give me. For, behind their blindness, was a soul intending to give them the gift they came here to get, and to give to everyone else around them the gifts of soul intention. I guess it's possible that they could have given me the same gift by showing me unconditional love. But I doubt it. Indeed, it was the very conditions they presented that made me finally aware that they were providing me an opportunity to receive my gift of unconditional love. And now that I have received it, I am free to go on to love and be loved unconditionally.

Our little versions of good and bad mean absolutely nothing in the face of such enormous and profound gifts. The dualistic version of life is reductionist at best and, at worst, utter blindness. If we can begin then to look for the gift behind every event, person, place, thing, circumstance and loss, as well as those found in all of the wonders of living—such as falling in love, having babies, experiencing the power and presence of nature and other exciting adventures—then we are well on our way to taking the blindfold off, to see clearly who we truly are.

Andrea Mathews is the author of The Law Of Attraction: The Soul's Answer To Why It Isn't Working And How it Can and of Restoring My Soul: A Workbook for Finding and Living the Authentic Self, as well as several published articles and poems. An Inspirational and Motivational speaker, she is also the host of the popular international radio show called Authentic Living. And she is a psychotherapist, with over 30 years' experience, working and living in America. http://www.andreamathewslpc.com

Andrea will be speaking with Elizabeth Jewell, Editor of LivingNow, on the free webinar, LivingNow Live, on Wednesday, August 24, at 7.30pm Australian EST. Log in to www.livingnow.com.au and click the 'LivingNow Live Free Wednesday Webinar' button on the home page.