Toby Wallace

It all starts at the beginning, and the emotional environment that a child grows up in will determine their sensitivities. Any human’s sense of love will relate to security. If a person feels emotionally or psychologically insecure, they will find it very difficult to give love, be loving, or even feel love. It often takes 30-40 years for people to resolve their pasts, and almost everything has to do with filling up gaps. The searches that people undertake, the defences they put up… these are so clearly projections based upon lack.

When it comes to security (read: love) it so often happens that damage seems to have more impact than connection. Many people who have been hurt are purely waiting for someone to hurt them again, or let them down – no matter how well things go beforehand – because they need to confirm their fears. ‘Men can’t be trusted’, ‘Women are selfish’… people will spend decades trying to confirm these notions, and sometimes can’t see anything else in front of them. The damage of their pasts has framed their futures.

One way to find love in life is to understand that negative experiences bring us just as close to happiness as do positive ones. The yin and yang of all moments always reflects balance, and a person who feels they lack love will constantly be seeking power. The insecure person becomes desperate for security; the unhappy seek happiness; and the weak yearn for self-empowerment. On the other hand, an emotionally-secure person – who has developed self love and feels lovable – experiences abundance, and is hence able to focus on other things, free of a more primal struggle.

Toby Wallace studied yoga (masters) in Varanasi, India. He runs his own yoga centre – Land of Yoga – in Preston, Melbourne. He counsels people on love, life, awareness, communication, and psychological behaviour, always towards total happiness and total health, for freedom. http://www.landofyoga.com