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Tuesday, 01 March 2011 00:00 |
 Day and night – each offers beauty and uniqueness. Blend them into an endless twilight and they are both lost. Both man and woman have found they can fulfil any role. She has shown she can do what he does. He has shown he can mind the baby. Now that we know this, perhaps the time has come for the meeting of two complete beings instead of two co-dependent ones and certainly instead of competition!
Yin, the feminine, is intrinsically dark, quiet, deep and still, a place of incubation, a place that can be somewhat mystifying to yang, the masculine, which is bright, active and outward. Yin could be roughly equated with ‘being’ and yang with ‘doing’. In our Western cultures doing is held in higher esteem than being. It yields obvious and more measurable results, and, as science addicts, we have fallen prey to the worship of measurement. In Eastern cultures there has traditionally been more respect for the immeasurable yin arts of being: patience, introspection, intuition, meditation.
Perhaps a lack of incubation and forethought is the cause of many of the woes of our societies, where decisions are made too often with scant thought for longer term consequences to humanity. Yang is not about nurturing, or caring, but about accomplishment and movement.
Perhaps it is time for outdated systems to be renewed, to allow for the contribution of the more complete person. And perhaps it is time for the people in those systems to recognise the advantages inherent in their own genders. The business world needs more intuitive and caring leadership, just as home life needs reason, guidance and discrimination.
Until we realise the benefit of being, of the yin in our lives, of stillness and intuition, we will underestimate the value of the feminine, and we will continue to make poor decisions. Women will struggle to be like men – to prove their worth as accomplishers – rather than recognise their intrinsic worth as caring incubators, within whose depths ideas are matured and honed so that wise action can ensue.
The battle of the sexes must be won within before it can be ended without. When each is complete, unafraid to appreciate pure being as much as doing, perhaps there will be appreciation for the differences of the genders – and then we will be friends and colleagues instead of rivals!
Paula Polson
Feng shui, geomancy and energy clearing
Living Changes Consultancy for homes and businesses, established 1995
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03 5981 0068 |
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Tuesday, 01 March 2011 00:00 |
 ‘I have struggled for many years with the concept that men are from Mars and women are from Venus. Having been raised to be a feminist as a child I never questioned the underlying philosophy of its being time for women to be dominant, but, 40 years on, this imbalance has impacted on relationships, families and society as a whole. For the last 15 years I have been researching, interviewing and then working with men about being men.
Surprisingly I discovered my femininity and my power within this far more than I did from years of proving myself to be an independent, strong and self-reliant woman.
It’s time for a men’s revolution. It’s time for us to all face what it is we share in common and how we express ourselves as individuals rather than being limited by our gender.
Honouring the value in our different abilities and skills that come from our biological inheritance will support a paradigm shift that is due. What young men tell me is that they are seeking a sense of wholeness and are looking for women to allow them to be all of who they are and appreciated for this. They know their fathers and grandfathers are not their role models for wholeness. Their mothers cannot teach them how to be men. We need to find language that allows men to embrace their gentleness and their strength.
Working with what we share in common we can then accept the different expressions of our qualities or traits. For example, both men and women have the ability to be independent, strong, gentle and nurturing. A man will express this independence and strength through his masculinity whereas a woman will do it through her femininity. We need to give up telling men that they are expressing feminine qualities when they are being loving and gentle because it dishonours their masculinity and discourages them from being whole. Women have much to learn from this new way that men can be, just as men do. Bring on the masculine revolution of wholeness.
Leonie Blackwell
The Essence of Healing
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03 5625 4466
Naturopath and teacher of flower essence and emotional freedom technique
I have been researching this topic for 15 years and planning to complete the writing of the book that has come from this journey in 2011. It has transformed how I work with men and women in my business. |
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A wonderful loving relationship becomes our prison |
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Tuesday, 01 March 2011 00:00 |
 We come from varying backgrounds with different values and put different interpretations on life. This can cause miscommunication and conflict. Add to that our anger and the battle begins. Loving is tinged by our expectations and desires, and we expect the other person to fulfil those. When it does not fit this image in our head we often no longer define it as love. The relationship becomes inflamed and what began as a wonderful loving relationship becomes our prison, keeping us where we do not want to be. We become more and more antagonistic towards our partner, who reacts in a similar fashion. The relationship disintegrates.
What if you dared to love beyond the conflicts of your day from that heart connection with each other? What if you loved without projecting your expectations? What would your relationship look like if it were more open and honest? To do that effectively we need to learn the tools to know how to interact and manifest the love inside us to something real in the outside world. Slow down and let the gentleness of life and love overtake us, empower us, pervade us and open that connection to our hearts.
Jenetta Haim runs Stressfree Management (R) at 36 Gipps Road, Greystanes, NSW, and specialises in assisting your health and lifestyle in all areas by developing programs on either a corporate or personal level to suit your needs. To contact Jenetta email
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or phone 0414 680 713. For more information check out the website at www.stressfreemanagement.com.au |
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Five steps to a more loving relationship |
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Tuesday, 01 March 2011 00:00 |
By Kevin Billet
- Ditch your past lovers
Though you may have separated from old partners years ago, are you still holding on to them, or an idealised image of them, in consciousness? Take some quiet time on your own and have a ‘campfire’ conversation of completion with them. Speak everything out loud, not just in your head, for best results. Then imagine cutting any energetic cords or ties with them and send love to them and to yourself. Let them go completely so you can release the old pull of comparison and be fully present to your current partner.
- Throw out the cardboard image
Relate authentically to who and what is showing up as your partner in the present moment. Are you relating – or reacting – to a concept based on old experiences of who you think they used to be? People change, people grow, so recognise and give credit for the reality of the person in front of you right here, right now. Suspend judgement, and speak to the depth in them, to the ‘Buddha nature’ within, and you’ll be surprised at how wisely and compassionately that innate quality responds.
- Take off your own masks
Be open, truthful and emotionally exposed. Remember that anger is almost always a cover-up for some deeper hurt or fear – so be honest about your more vulnerable feelings. Stop the blame game. Know that your partner is one of life’s best mirrors for your emotional ‘stuff’, and that his or her triggers for your issues are a potentially healing and bonding gift if you own your own emotional state and remember that the real cause of an emotional reaction is much deeper and older than the current catalyst.
- Forgive yourself
Take some alone time, be deeply honest and write down the many mistakes you have made in relationship and in life. No self-blame or wallowing – just get real and empty it out. Remember that perfection is just an idea and that we are all human, all perfectly and wonderfully imperfect. Then imagine opening your chest area, and feel what it is like to completely forgive yourself. Speak the words of forgiveness out loud and let them lodge in your heart. Welcome, in your mind’s eye, a divine mentor of forgiveness who can help you, if you need it. Forgiveness of others is much easier when we have already forgiven ourselves.
- Routinely be a routine breaker
Loving relationships thrive on freshness and novelty – so create new environments, new contexts within which your relationship can continually rejuvenate and flourish. Vary your together times, while eating, exercising or relaxing. Dress up to please each other. Get outdoors. Go places you’ve never been before. Make new friends. Step outside your comfort zone and surprise each other. Remember to let go and play like kids together. And in the bedroom drop your expectations, be a virgin – let every time be the first!
"I am an ordinary man who has had the immense fortune to stumble upon many extraordinary answers to life's difficult questions. For 20 years I have lived at the cutting edge of the human potential movement, where I have learned to live from innate freedom and authenticity. My daily experience is of deep fulfilment, being on purpose and huge gratitude for all of life. I share the techniques and insights I have learned in experiential seminars around the world.”
C.E.O. of The Journey Seminars
www.thejourney.com,
www.consciouscompany.com |
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